Where I Am Now

You've seen the details of her passing.. some info on who she was... and the pain and depression I went through. In fact it is that same pain and depression that kept me from writing for so long. I couldn't find the words to say.. and sadly I was too wrapped up in my own pain... and then... things got better and I was just too wrapped up in life.

Over time my depression decreased and went away. I still miss my mom and I still have moments where all I want to do is cry... mostly when I need her comfort or advice. Yes, when she was alive we argued... a lot. But, she was also my best friend and closest confidant. I went to her for prayer and she came to me for the same. She was a wealth of knowledge when it came to scripture and to counseling others (like my mother I am always there for my friends). I loved her and still miss her each and every day. I don't think this will ever go away. But, I am happy for her. She is where we all want to be: Dancing at the feet of Jesus. Today and for all eternity she celebrates our Lord and Saviour. I'm sure she joined with the angels when Ruth came to salvation.. and I'm quite certain there was a glimmer in her eyes as she looked down and saw that Ruth didn't just say her prayer...she sang it.

So where exactly am I now? Ruth and I moved to the Dallas area back in September and are involved in a wonderful church: Prestonwood Baptist. I am back to serving.. I volunteer as a teacher in one of the Preschool classes and I attend the class Perspectives on World Missions. Ruth got saved on March 17th while we were visiting Bastrop. In November I will go on a mission trip to Egypt for one week. At this time I am hearing God's call to missions quite strong (first received the call at age 15) and now know where He wants us to go. In 2 years Ruth and I will head off to Egypt to follow this call and minister to the Beja, Bedawi.  Ruth and I are very excited and my little sweetheart already tells everyone about getting saved and that we are going to be missionaries. Now to teach her how to share the gospel :)

I am living the life God has called me to live. I still have many struggles but if there is one thing my mother taught me.. it is to Have Faith and Never Give Up. When I think about my mother I can only hope she is looking down smiling.. and in fact I know she is. She was always my biggest supporter and encouragement for foreign missions. She loved the Lord and she loved that I felt called to serve Him in that way.

Today I honor my mother's memory by recreating her facebook page and updating this online memorial.

I Love You Mom!!! Thank You for all you taught me... and especially, Thank You for teaching me Faith and to Serve the Lord :)

PS

  If there is anyone out there struggling with the loss of a loved one please message me. I would love to talk with you. I know how hard it is and how important it is to have someone there for you.