God Called You Home

I read this poem at Mom's memorial service. I did change a few of the words to fit mom...like stood in awe.. i believe was originally something else. Not long after we had moved to Bastrop she lost her right leg to an infection. She didn't let this phase and she had full faith that one day God would re-grow her leg. In the last 6months of her life several people, myself and my mom included, had dreams &/or visions of her dancing before the Lord. Please read and picture her doing all of this. I promise it will bring you to tears but in a beautiful...wonderful way :)

GOD CALLED YOU HOME

The other day God called you home

to live with Him above.

He said, “It's time my precious child

to feel my arms of love”.

He opened up the pearly gates

and ushered you inside.

Then smiled at you and welcomed you

with His arms open wide.

I can only imagine what Heaven's like

but I'm sure you stood in awe.

I can picture you in Jesus arms

just taking in it all.

I know you longed to be with Him

to see His gentle face.

To look into His loving eyes

and feel His sweet embrace.

I'm sure you worshiped Him in awe

and danced at his feet.

Then joined the choir singing songs

and melodies so sweet.

You lived your life down here on earth

by serving God above.

And now you'll spend eternity

singing Him songs of love.

Oh how you loved Him all your days,

you gave Him your whole life.

Your love for Jesus shone so bright

even in times of strife.

You shared His love by how you lived

you gave him everything.

And I can hear Him say, “Well done,

for living for the King.

Thank you for your faithfulness

for trusting in the Lord.

For all the times you prayed for me

you deserve His best reward.

I know each day you said a prayer

for family and each friend.

And I know that you were faithful

and prayed until the end.

I know you're up in heaven now,

your face I cannot see.

But all those precious memories

will always stay with me.

I knew someday you'd leave this earth

and live with God above.

But I will keep you in my heart

and think of you with love.

Nancy Burr

July 4, 2004 

I Love You Mom!

Where I Am Now

You've seen the details of her passing.. some info on who she was... and the pain and depression I went through. In fact it is that same pain and depression that kept me from writing for so long. I couldn't find the words to say.. and sadly I was too wrapped up in my own pain... and then... things got better and I was just too wrapped up in life.

Over time my depression decreased and went away. I still miss my mom and I still have moments where all I want to do is cry... mostly when I need her comfort or advice. Yes, when she was alive we argued... a lot. But, she was also my best friend and closest confidant. I went to her for prayer and she came to me for the same. She was a wealth of knowledge when it came to scripture and to counseling others (like my mother I am always there for my friends). I loved her and still miss her each and every day. I don't think this will ever go away. But, I am happy for her. She is where we all want to be: Dancing at the feet of Jesus. Today and for all eternity she celebrates our Lord and Saviour. I'm sure she joined with the angels when Ruth came to salvation.. and I'm quite certain there was a glimmer in her eyes as she looked down and saw that Ruth didn't just say her prayer...she sang it.

So where exactly am I now? Ruth and I moved to the Dallas area back in September and are involved in a wonderful church: Prestonwood Baptist. I am back to serving.. I volunteer as a teacher in one of the Preschool classes and I attend the class Perspectives on World Missions. Ruth got saved on March 17th while we were visiting Bastrop. In November I will go on a mission trip to Egypt for one week. At this time I am hearing God's call to missions quite strong (first received the call at age 15) and now know where He wants us to go. In 2 years Ruth and I will head off to Egypt to follow this call and minister to the Beja, Bedawi.  Ruth and I are very excited and my little sweetheart already tells everyone about getting saved and that we are going to be missionaries. Now to teach her how to share the gospel :)

I am living the life God has called me to live. I still have many struggles but if there is one thing my mother taught me.. it is to Have Faith and Never Give Up. When I think about my mother I can only hope she is looking down smiling.. and in fact I know she is. She was always my biggest supporter and encouragement for foreign missions. She loved the Lord and she loved that I felt called to serve Him in that way.

Today I honor my mother's memory by recreating her facebook page and updating this online memorial.

I Love You Mom!!! Thank You for all you taught me... and especially, Thank You for teaching me Faith and to Serve the Lord :)

PS

  If there is anyone out there struggling with the loss of a loved one please message me. I would love to talk with you. I know how hard it is and how important it is to have someone there for you.

Thank You

This is to Thank all those who helped us during Mom's Passing.

We were Blessed to have our friends and family arrive at the hospital for support. You were all such a Blessing and I am very thankful to have each and everyone of you in our lives.
First I want to thank Missy Phipps and Bruce Dickson. Missy immediately put things in order and left her family in Dallas to come assist us...even before she knew that mom had passed.. knowing the time was near she came to our aid and I am so Blessed for that. Though Bruce and I no longer speak he was there for me during that time. He held me and let me cry and talk.. somehow he knew exactly what I needed and was there through everything. 

Mike Walker and Linda Walker: Thank You both for taking care of my Dad when I couldn't. Thank you for all your advice, guidance and emotional support.. both over the years, during and after this time. You have been such a blessing and are definitely more friends than family.

Inge and Jereme Walker: for opening your home to us and allowing us to stay so long. It was hard to face going home and you allowed me to take the time I needed to face that. Thank You too for helping with Ruth.. she really couldn't have better Godparents...Thank You.

Carol Johnston: for watching Ruth while we were at the hospital and for all the times you were there for us... I miss our many talks. You have been such a Blessing and encouragement to my life.

Petre Webb: for being the lead in going through and organizing Mom's things. For finding special pieces of jewelry for Ruth... and for all the times you were there for us both before and after Mom's death.

To all mom's friends (particularly Linda Walker, Evelynn Richison and Claudia Barker): also for helping go through mom's things, for being at the hospital and for being such wonderful friends to my mom. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement over the years. For helping the many times she was in the hospital and for encouraging her in the Lord... encouraging her to not give up. Thank You also for being a place for me to turn for wisdom and guidance. I am blessed to have you in my life and I miss seeing you.

Pat and Jack Templeton (my grandparents): Thank You for paying for the majority of the funeral...for being our support during and after this time.. and for all the times you were there for us over the years when Mom was sick.

Carol Hamilton (my aunt): for paying for and having a headstone placed on mom's grave,  for your emotional and spiritual support during mom's passing and all through my life... for being such a good friend to mom and for teaching me to be a prayer warrior... Thank You.

I only mentioned a few but there were a great many.. too many in fact for me to list.. that helped us out in so many ways... People who watched Ruth... people who helped put together the funeral and memorial service... and those who were our emotional support during and after this most difficult time and those who allowed us to stay with them when we just couldn't go home. Then too are those who helped us sort through all of mom's things... something I just couldn't bring myself to do. Thank You Everyone!!!

Sudden Goodbye

 I started this message a long time ago.. but never finished it. So today I go back in time to write about the day my mother passed.

Mom's passing was sudden. She had been doing so well. On Wednesday the 6th she admitted to not feeling well but it seemed to be allergy related. However on Thursday morning she was in a great deal of pain and taken to the hospital. Things did not seem well and I could tell dad needed me. Ruth was shaken about her Yaya leaving in ambulance that morning so I dropped her with Carol (her former sitter and a good friend). I took off work and headed to Austin to be with Dad.

Things were worse than I expected. As it turns out mom had been screaming for hours "I'm Dying! I'm Dying!" when I got there she had stopped with that and was screaming "Help Me! Help Me!" and saying she was in so much pain and couldn't breathe. They took her on to ICU and we went to the waiting room while they got her set up. It was clear at this point she had an infection but the doctors were unsure where it originated. When they finally came to get us the news was not good. Just after entering ICU mom had stopped breathing. She was out long enough that blood had stopped flowing to her brain. They were able to bring her back but the outlook was not good. When we spoke with the doctor they brought a pastor with them. They'd never done that before.

We waited impatiently to be permitted to see her. I made call after call to friends and family for prayer and to have as many come to the hospital as possible. I knew her time was short. They finally brought her through to ICU but as they were getting her to the room she began to flat line again. They stabilized her and permitted us back. In tears my father kept telling her he loved her and that it was all going to be ok. He stepped out to speak with the doctor. Taking her hand I gave her assurance that we were fine.. I told her where Ruth was and that Missy (her niece) was on her way. I told her I loved her and didn't want to loose her but that we would be OK if it was her time. I knew she was in pain and suffering and I knew she wouldn't leave us unless she knew we would be alright. I didn't intend to say Good Bye but somehow that's what I was doing... that's what happened. 

 I stepped out for a second to see what was being said by the doctor. It didn't look good. Dad was going to have to make a choice: Did we keep trying to save her or put in place a DNT order (do not resuscitate). She had flat lined 4times by now and this is the one decision my Dad did not ever want to make. If by some miracle she survived she would likely be brain dead but we were accustomed to miracles. There had been many close calls but she had always survived. I suggested they continue to revive her a few more times.. maybe 3 or 4 but after that to let her pass peacefully.

 I don't know what was said next. I had never seen her flat line but at that moment she did and they began the shocks. When I saw her flop on the bed I couldn't handle it.. I ran out of the hospital crying. I don't know if Dad told them to stop or if they just couldn't bring her back. I never asked ... its not important. I didn't know it that time that she had passed... I didn't know for hours.

 I saw Jereme (a friend more like a brother) leaving the hospital... he said we could stay with him and his wife Inge that night and that my Dad was. I was confused. When I got upstairs our friends had arrived... my dad was crying and they were praying. It still wasn't hitting me that she had passed and they all assumed I knew.. they assumed that's why I had ran out. But I knew nothing. I'm not sure what was said next but I discovered she had passed... I quietly left against protests. I needed to be alone... I went to my car and after a great deal of crying I made the rest of the calls.

Mom.. I Love You... One day we will meet again... in Paradise. Rest in Peace.

Frustrated

So these are just some thoughts on mourning and how its effecting me.

I know my mom is in heaven and is out of pain.... but what I'm realizing is, mourning is more emotional and physical than mental. Combined with the stress I was undergoing prior to her passing anxiety has taken a strong hold of me. I finally gave up my fight against meds and decided I need some help; the panic attacks and lack of sleep were too much. Is it wrong to say I feel like its less from my mom's passing and more from sheer exhaustion. I went to the doctor and am now on anti-anxiety and sleep meds. The Buspir (anit-anxiety) seems to be working really well however the Ambien only works if I can take the Buspir with it...and time was that doesn't work so well for me. I'm realizing too it only works so long as nothing even the slightest bit upsetting comes up. It's frustrating to have to fight to be myself. Lack of sleep makes me depressed but I can't sleep. Little things bring me down. I would rather curl up in a pile of blankets and read a book then go out with my friends. I have to force myself to go out. I want to be there and I always have a good time but.... i just want to curl up. I want to sleep and get real rest. I can't think clearly... I'm tired of not being able to remember stuff. I'm irritable and I hate it. At times everything seems fine and I feel so focused and am actually getting things done but then I go home. I always feel depressed at home.... the meds don't help here. I want to be a good mom... but I don't feel like much of one right now.
   There are so many things I want right now.... to be strong... to be a good mom... to be able to help Ruth to heal.... to travel... to do missions....to start a street drama team...to start making A's and graduate top of my class - maybe even early... to become a certified skydive instructor.....to stop hurting....to stop feeling alone... to have the answers... to be the one people lean on rather than needing to lean on them.

I just don't know how to make any of these things happen.....

Lord help me......

Despair and Hope

 Several month ago my mother took a turn for the worse. I came home for lunch to find her... well not herself. She looked up at me and with a smile said "I'm ready to go... I'm ready to go home momma." I of course called EMS immediately... mom was in the hospital for a time and then came home. I don't remember the details of what made her sick that time. What I remember most was the way I felt and how she was after. Hearing those words... she was ready to die... and it tore me up. Even after she came home it was weeks before I could really be around her. It completely tore me up. Thanks to prayer and a good friend I was able to move past the incident but I knew mom's time was coming. I did begin to spend time with her again but things were different. I coiuld no longer take her places... Dad had to lift her both into the car and into her chair at home. She was out of it most of the time... barely able to carry a conversation. Mom was no longer living but existing.

She surprised us though and in her last couple of weeks was making great improvements. She was more alert and even gaining strength. She wanted to go into a rehab center to build her strength even more. She was happy and we all had hope. One thing mom never gave up was hope.... she kept dreaming of her leg regrowing. She knew the power of the Lord and she believed in miracles. I think that is why she lived as long as she did. You see mom should not have lived this long. She had many close calls and therefore many miracles. One such example was her diabetic coma. Her blood sugar was well over 1800. She should not have lived but she did. She lived and she continued to serve. It was good to see that light back in her eyes those last couple of weeks.... That joy that was completely her.

I Love You Mom

My Mother

Dedication
  This blog is being written in honor of my dear mother Floy Elaine Templeton and for anyone who has ever struggled with the loss of a loved one.
 
Floy Elaine Templeton
Born November 28th, 1957
Died October 7th, 2010 at the age of 52
Survived by Husband Coy Templeton (51), Daughter Brooke Templeton (25), and Grand-daughter Ruth Templeton (3) 

Elaine was an amazing woman who struggled with health difficulties from the early age of 11 when she was first diagnosed as a diabetic. The diabetes led to many other health issues including clogged arteries resulting in multiple stints and bypass surgeries, a below the knee amputation on her right leg, kidney dialysis and calcifalaxis  among many other things.

Despite her illnesses Elaine stayed active working as an NICU nurse for many years and  maintained a constant involvement in ministry. She spent many years planning and organizing Women's events such as retreats & luncheons with guest speakers. She was also very involved in Vacation Bible School as both a teacher and Director. In recent years she has been confined to a wheelchair but her heart and passion still remained for the Lord and for serving others. She continued in ministry leading Bible studies and becoming trained as a Christian Listener.

Her friends will all testify to her devotion to the Lord, her family and her friends. A unique woman with a great laugh, she was always joking around. On more than one occasion I have been told how she changed a friends life and has been such an incredible blessing.

Elaine is now dancing in the streets of Heaven and singing to her hearts content.

As thankful as I am she is no longer in pain I miss her a great deal. Grieving has not been easy for me which is why I have started this blog. It is my hope that this blog will somehow bless each reader and will help me to let go.